Kink pdf checklist serial#

If my husband safewords red because the pain he's giving out is beyond his limits, it's as vital for me to be able to jump up and give him aftercare as it would for him to do for me. I know traditionally, the top is supposed to be the one keeping watch over the bottom, but hey, tops have limits too. If he decided he wanted to push them, he could help keep me in the loop with safewording yellow and telling me something like, 'I want to bite you, but I also feel conflicted about it, and I'm not sure how I'll handle it.' Then we can decide whether to keep going or not. For instance, my husband has big limits around pain play. I mean, Jesus, someone could make me safeword just by punching me in the face without warning that doesn't mean it's a good idea! (I know that you already said you didn't follow this person's advice, but I feel obligated to say so anyway, just for other folks who might be reading.)Īs far as limit-pushing goes, yeah, do it with warnings so everyone can know your progress. Hey Ironman, we use the yellow/red thing, and though safewording does occasionally happen (did just a couple days ago, in fact!) I am generally not of the opinion that it should be chased like a golden ring. I don't intend to be all BDSM inside baseball, any more than I'm all gender or all politics. Why am I apologizing for being kinky? This blog is called The Pervocracy. Not-kinky people, I will write a totally not-just-kink sex post next. A cute little worksheet won't guarantee that but I hope it helps.

Kink pdf checklist serial#

A lot of the recent talk has been about flushing out serial abusers, but equally important is making sure that well-intentioned people don't hurt each other through miscommunications or assumptions. Clear, explicit scene negotiation is a cornerstone of consent culture in BDSM.That's the fun part of negotiation and it can turn damn sexy. Going from 'so you don't want to roleplay, do want to use toys, and do want pain' to 'so how about I throw you up against that wall and hit you on the ass with the paddle-we'll start slow and see just what you can take' is what happens next. Once you know these things about each other, it's between the two of you to work out explicitly what you will and won't do in your scene. It's really a pre-negotiation worksheet the purpose of these questions to give your partner an idea of where you're coming from and what you're looking for before you work out exactly what's going to happen in your scene.Knowing that you're not super sure what you want is rarely a dealbreaker, but important for your partner to be aware of. Don't feel like you have to have a super confident answer to everything. 'I don't know,' 'maybe,' and 'let's try it a little and see' are totally acceptable answers.

If you're new to kink, it's probably good to think about your answers well in advance of actually playing, when you have a clear head and time to put your thoughts together.It's probably better to talk this over with your partner than to hand it to them filled out, but, you know, whatever works for you. I don't really expect you to write on it it's more of a jumping-off point for talking and thinking.